Archive for ‘humour’

September 26, 2011

Last Post: AYCC are tools and muppets

As promised at the outset, this site is shutting down.
It’s been simply delightful adding denialist nutjobs to the ‘send to spam’ list. I love how they spew bile and then claim to be the injured party. I love thinking about the conversations they will be having with their children/grandchildren in 20 years time…

Anyhow. This below is an email that those buffoons at the Australian Youth Climate “Coalition” have been sending out to try to get people along to their ‘powershit’ event in Brisbane. And how are climate activists supposed to get there? Oh, they’re to fly… I defy you to make that up. Or this –

Dear xxx,

You’€™re an incredibly smart and ridiculously talented young person who will probably rule the world some day. You don’t normally do conferences – because, let’s be honest, most of them are dull and pointless and your time is precious.

But then you hear about something potentially quite cool: an opportunity to hang out with other attractive, intelligent, hilarious people just like you. People who read about what’s going on in the world. People with awesome dance moves. People who aren’t naive enough to expect our current leaders to wake up and smell the catastrophe they’re creating for our generation, unless we make them solve it.

You buy your ticket, go to this event – and it goes beyond all your expectations.

You hear from cool speakers like Dick Smith, Christine Milne and that amazing young girl who sailed around the world on her own. You get to talk to them afterwards, furthering your fabulous future career as you make connections that money can’t buy. You go to workshops run by the heads of the top non-profits in the country, like Change.Org and GetUp. You participate in an insanely fun media stunt that makes headlines around the country.

You meet that handsome boy or girl of your dreams. Seriously. Did you know 43% of Power Shift participants met their current life partner at Power Shift?

And you realise two things: that you are powerful, and you are not alone. That there are way more young people in Australia who love life and care about climate change than you could have ever thought possible, and that when you all get together, you really can change the world.

You come home, barely believing that you nearly didn’t go in the first place, brimming with new-found skills, connections and confidence. And you decide you don’t have to wait any longer. You’€™re ready to lead, not follow.

It all happened because today, you decide to click here and buy your Power Shift ticket, right before normal tickets close in 48 hours.

Part conference. Part festival. 100% life-changing awesomeness or we’ll alter the space-time continuum to send you back in time to before you read this email, and hire Leonardo DiCaprio to enter your subconscious via your dreams to encourage you just to press ‘delete’€™ instead. But we have a feeling that won’t be necessary.

Power Shift. Sat 15th – Mon 17th October. Brisbane. Check it out today before normal tickets end in 48 hours.

Don’t say we didn’t warn you,

The AYCC team

P.S. Why now? Why today? Because from Friday the normal price closes, and you’ll have to pay $100 per person, or $90 per person for a group of 5 or more. Check it out now.

Now that I’ve wiped the vomit and tears of despair off my keyboard. I have only this to say: “Shit-for-brainses. Yeah, you – you’re trying WAY too hard. You’re an embarrasment.”

September 26, 2011

Side-splitting denialist nutjobbery

Got this comment on my “Climate Change is a hoax perpretrated by Tim Flannery” video. Oh my.

“What a completely IGNORANT INSIPID Analistic mindfkr
The FACT that Australia is 1100 Kms FURTHER NORTH than it was 150 yrs ago just may have something to do with all this Climate change BS. The EAST COAST of Canada is ALSO 1100 Kms (as of 2011) further SOUTH genius which is WHY all of the snow and ice is melting ON THAT SIDE ONLY

The ROSS IceShelf is 1100 kms further north than it should be which is why it is also breaking up. DO a GOOGLE search for “North Pole Moving towards Siberia” 1+1=2 “

August 31, 2011

Cool cartoon site – Calamaties of Nature

Have just found this rather cool site, Calamaties of Nature.

Here is a recent cartoon of theirs.

And cue denialists being sententious about argumentum ad popularem or whatever.

August 30, 2011

Volcanoes and Denialists: The Ominous Parallels

And those parallels are…
*They’re usually quite old, with molten rage seeping through their cracks
*They’re quite unpredictable, even if you’re watching what you are doing
*They throw off far more heat than light
*You could crack a toe or worse on their solidified sludge
*In the short-term, they should only be fatal to the very unlucky or the very slow-witted
*However, they can bring what could be a relatively straightforward journey to a juddering halt.
*The media have a major lavafair with them.

August 20, 2011

Youtube: Gish Gallop in 72 seconds

A gallop through the ‘Gish Gallop’, without any suggestions about how to tackle it. It’s a debating technique involving, well, spouting so much bollocks that your opponent can’t ever tear down each bit. It’s kind of a distributed denial of service attack on the audience’s brains…

Tags:
July 6, 2011

Youtube: Climate Change is a left-wing issue

Trolls keep telling me climate change is really a communist plot. And, as usual, they have all the evidence on their side. No, wait…

Click below for a four minute scroll through the mainstream politicians and big business who want action on climate change, followed by wild and provocative speculation on some of the psycho-social dynamics of denialism.

UPDATE: USEFUL COMMENT SENT VIA EMAIL –

Not sure I’d characterise it as an old white guy thing. Sure, they mostly are old white guys and the dominance of grey haired old wrinkled faces is striking. But as I’m sure you know, it’s all about the values system that these old guys happen to have.
They would also say it’s not about control, they’d characterise it as the opposite – that it’s about small government and reducing the control government has over our lives. Check out this quote from Roy Spencer (which affirms the values basis for climate denial):
 
“I view my job a little like a legislator, supported by the taxpayer, to protect the interests of the taxpayer and to minimize the role of government.”

July 6, 2011

Truly hilarious survival guide to the carbon price apocalypse

Crikey’s Canberra correspondent Bernard Keane has written a genuinely laugh out loud and extraordinarily useful guide to the coming days and weeks of special pleading. Pure, unadulterated genius. It starts…

Out they’ve come over the last two days, lured by the imminent announcement of the carbon price details — more corporate shills, more politicians, more unionists, more polluters, with their hands stuck out, making that distinctive bleating noise of the rentseeker in full cry. It’s like a zombie film, with a shuffling, clumsy but somehow inescapable horde of the undead — braindead, more correctly — roaming the streets, demanding “compensation”.

Ralph Hillman rose at the Press Club a short while ago to repeat his long-discredited claims about the impact of a carbon price on the coal industry, a sector which faces only one real problem, how to count all the money that’s going to roll in from China in the next few years. Instead, Hillman wants handouts from taxpayers for an industry that is the chief dealer to the cheap energy and cheap steel junkies of the planet.

Andrew Wilkie has joined in. Having declined to participate in the Multi-Party Climate Change Committee, he’s now pulled the classic swing vote stunt of issuing demands right at the death. Wilkie has his own version of “think global, act local” by demanding special measures for his own electorate and its industry. Nicely played.

This stuff will be incessant for the rest of the week and then really ramp up next week, when the rentseekers who missed out will lift the pitch and volume of their bleating. To cut through all the propaganda, self-interested analysis and political race-calling, it might be useful to keep in mind some basic principles in judging Sunday’s announcement. These are some criteria by which to judge a carbon price scheme.

And continues here. OMG, ROFLMAO.

PS And (most of) the comments are worth a read to (up to 9.22pm, anyway) – astute stuff.

July 5, 2011

No Port in a Storm for Chris Monckton

crikey reports

Lord Christopher Monckton has slammed Port Adelaide Football Club for its decision to withdraw its venue for his speaking tour and accused activist group GetUp of betraying Australia’s historic principles of free speech.

One of the commenters nails it (IMHO)  How is this a ‘free speech’ issue? A private organisation has made a decision not to allow a bloke to speak at its venue.
Maybe the good Lord (soi-disant) will be a bit more careful throwing around Nazi slurs before going on speaking tours where the venues are … German clubs.  And this is a guy, who can’t even see three weeks ahead in his own wretched life, who wants to tell the world to ignore 97% of climate scientists.  Epic. Fail.

Still, the speaking fees won’t matter, since he has got a cure for HIV.

 

July 1, 2011

Youtube: Climate Change is a Hoax, perpetrated by Tim Flannery

Ooh, it’s enough to give you an attack of the (water) vapours…

June 27, 2011

Youtube: Planet of the Not Very Bright Apes

Well, speaks for itself. But before the trolls start accusing me of calling them monkeys I say this – PAY ATTENTION – I CALL EVERYONE, INCLUDING MYSELF, A MONKEY.